The Uxbridge English Dictionary

ABIGAIL = A very large wind. 

A*SEHOLE = A home for delinquent donkeys. 

ASPHALT = Constipation.

BANQUETTE = A small bank.

BEHOLD = A secure beehive.

BROWNIES = What you get when kneeling in mud.

CANOPY = A tin of urine.

CATACOMB = A feline grooming device.

CRIMSON = An Australian inn for reformed inmates.

DENIAL = A river in Egypt.

DELEGATE =  An Indian Political scandal.

DOGMATIC = A dog without a clutch.

EGO  = He left.

ERECTION = What Japanese vote in.

EXCRETE =  No longer a Greek Island.

FLORIST =  An expert on floors.

FOCACCIA = An Italian bread that does not like the Middle East.

FRUGAL = A search engine for fruit.

GALLANT =  A female insect.

GOBLET = Av very small mouth.

GOSSIP =  To take a drink.

HAMSTRING =  Underwear for pigs.

HANDICAP = A very useful cap.

HERBIVORE =  An animal that only eats Volks Wagon Beetles.

INQUEST =  A search for pubs.

ICCLE = A bicycle made by Apple.

IDAHO =  A prostitute from the US.

JOCULAR = A Scottish Vampire.

JUGULAR = A busty vampire.

JACUZZI = Italian version of a famous essay by Emilie Zola.

KIDNAP =  A sleeping child.

KNOWING = Unable to fly.

KNAPSACK = A sleeping bag.

LOOSING = A singing WC.

LOITER = Device used for smokers in the West Country.

 LIVEABLE = Where Scousers come from.

MATTRESS = A female mat.

MISFIT = A good-looking teacher.

MARINADE = Soft drink served at weddings.

NATTERJACK = A telephone socket.

NUTCASE = A hat.

NAVIGATE = Sandal concerning road diggers.

OSCAR = An Australian motor vehicle.

ONUS = A very round bottom.

OTTER = Nice weather in Yorkshire.

PAVANE = A van belonging to your dad. PILGRIM  = Depressive drug.

PILLROY = Chemist.

PROPAGANDA = A good look.

QUEST = The Johnathon Ross coat of arms.

QUOTE  = Johnathon Ross coat.

RAMSGATE = Farming scandal.

RESOURCE = Get some more ketchup.

REV COUNTER = Survey of vicars.

SENILE = What to do in Egypt.

SERIAL KILLER =  Combine harvester.

SOMETIME = Maths lesson.

THINKING = A thin monarch.

TIRAID = A puncture repair kit.

TOMBOLA =  Tom's posh hat.

UMPTEEN = A raged teenager.

UGANDA = Go and have a look.

UNSCREW =  French prison warder.

VELOCITY = An area popular with cyclists.

VIGILANTE = A very observant Aunt.

VIOLIN = A very rough pub.

WINDOW = Winning first prize in The Lottery. WALNUT = An obsessive bricklayer.

WEEDING = Scottish handbell.

X-RATED  = No longer appreciated.

X-RAY = Someone who has changed their name.